I have often thought about God and I… If we were to sit on a park bench side by side, what would he say to me. What would I say to him… There was a time when I thought He would look at me with disappointment in his eyes and ask me why I had forsaken him. However I see now that this really doesn’t make sense. Why would he ask me that? I mean, he made me as I am… he didn’t make a mistake, there was no heavenly recall the day I was born. Why would he be sad? I was finally able to look myself in the mirror and know the person I was looking at. No, God wouldn’t ask me that. I think it would go a little differently now.
He would look at me with a smile in his eyes and say “see I told you it would be tough.” and we would laugh. I wouldn’t need to ask him “why?” me or “where were you?” I would know… I am who I am, who I will always be, It’s a fact. There was no mistake, no cosmic mixup, or curse. I was made to feel love and to love, the perfect creation. I would know that he gave me enough to strength to deal with everything that was in store for me. I would know that even in my darkest of dark hours he was there next to me. He heard when that boy yelled “Faggot” across the street, He knows how it made me feel. He was there that night when I felt I wasn’t strong enough to go on, he gave me comfort and a feeling of peace. He was there when I told my parents I was gay, not just for me but for them as well. He was there last week when I went to the court house. He felt my joy, his tears fell along side mine and so many others as we watched same sex couples married for the first time in the history of the state of Utah. He has a perfect knowledge of the long, difficult and bumpy road that had gotten us there. Remember it was his son’s and daughter’s that have been bullied, abused, beaten, some have had their journey’s cut short. He knows their pain, because he was there.
He would stand from the bench and help me to my feet, he would hug me and say “you are not done yet my son. I am here beside you, as I am now, always. I will watch over you and your family. Look to me for strength when you are tired and I will give it to you. Look to me for courage when you are afraid and I will give it to you. Look to me for peace, I will always give it to you. There is a world out there to change, millions of hearts to soften. There are many more laughs to be had and tears to be shed. You are exactly the man I wanted you to be. I love you and will see you at the end of your journey. Watch for me, I will be the proud father in front.”
yeah, I think it would go a little something like that. I know right now there are so many people saying that same sex couple being allowed to marry is an “affront to God.” But I know Him, and He is cool with it.